A Bedtime Story for the Ill-Behaved: Mad Toys

Many of you liked the story ideas I had in Bedtime Books I Wish I Could Read to My Kids. Here, I took my favorite idea and fleshed it out. Hope you enjoy. (Just know I’m not responsible for what happens if you do read this story to your kids, unless it’s good.)

Sunlight spread across the floor like spilled paint. Molly started to stretch. She smacked her lips as if her mouth were full of bits of sticky cotton. She tried to roll over and felt her scalp being tugged violently back. She tried to soothe her burning head, but her arms wouldn’t move. She tested each limb but it bounced back like a yo-yo.

Molly opened her eyes and saw the bizarre crime scene she was starring in.

Her feet were tied to her bed with hair elastics and they were turning blue. She tried to lift her head to make out the shadowy figure moving near them, but her hair felt tightly wound. Twisted braids formed knotted ropes to her headboard. Her wrists were bound with something, tiny pants? Doll clothes!

Getting ready to carry out an evil plan

Getting ready to carry out an evil plan

“Mom,” whispered Molly through the dryness of her mouth. “MOOOOOOOOM!”

“Oh good,” a voice answered. “She’s awake.”

Molly’s favorite Barbie doll took quick, tiny steps toward her. Molly knew she must have been dreaming. She would have pinched herself if she could get her hands to her face.

Her toys had gone nuts. The 200 inch-high Tiny Tots she owned marched toward her with straight pins. Robots aimed slingshots of Legos at her face. And her closet door rattled as if something were trying to escape. Where had she left Suzie Walks-a-Lot? Where? In the playroom like usual? No. Think, think. In a feeble attempt to clean, she threw her in her closet last night. Dear God. If that three-foot doll got loose, she would for sure be a King Kong monster that Molly couldn’t fight off.

Barbie waltzed toward her. “I see you’ve taken in the situation, Molly.” She couldn’t get over the snip in Barbie’s voice and the sneer on her face. She was all business even though she wasn’t Professional Barbie. Surprising. “Barbie, haven’t I always treated you well?” Molly thought.

“I can read minds, Molly. And no, your other toys and I, we don’t think you’ve treated us well,” she said. She sat on Molly’s waist, long, rubbery legs extended over her side. “You leave us out on your floor for days. When you run into your room, you step on our faces with your hard shoes. Some of us are missing pieces. Sure, you hug us from time to time. But we want to be with our families at night, in our warm cases, our beds. It’s cold out there half naked on the carpet. Your brother laughs at us, Molly.”

Molly understood. Dolls would get cold. But Legos? Robots? They’re just plastic and metal.

“Legos want to be built with, Molly. When they’re strewn all over your floor, they feel as if they’re drifting in the ocean and they’ll never get each other back. Don’t you kids see that?”

Molly nodded. She kind of did. She guessed she was the shark in their ocean some days.

“And robots, well, they don’t have brains,” Barbie whispered, “but they just feel left out if we don’t include them. Mmmkay?”

Barbie got up. Molly waited to be untied but Barbie just smiled and waved her hand, a signal and the army of toys moved in. Molly screamed. She fought against the restraints.

Mom came running in. “I’m sorry! I’ll keep my room clean!” Molly cried.

When Mom saw the mess, she didn’t seem surprised. “When it’s gone this far,” Mom said, “the only way to stop it is to get rid of everything.”

For once Molly didn’t argue. Mom untied her and they quickly stuffed Barbie and her entourage of Tiny Tots, robots, Legos, fairies, and more into pillowcases. No toy went down without a fight and they had pinprick and Lego block battle wounds to prove it.

It took both of them to wrestle Suzie Walks-a-Lot to the ground. They tied her up with doll clothes and hair ribbon.

“If you can keep your room clean for a month, maybe you can get some new toys,” Mom finally said, wiping her brow with Barbie’s dress.

Molly thought about it. “I think I’ll stick with books.” They were far less dangerous.



Filed under Fiction

25 responses to “A Bedtime Story for the Ill-Behaved: Mad Toys

  1. Hehe, that’s great (although I’m now worried the same might happen to grown ups who don’t do the washing up or laundry…)! 😉

  2. I had a book called, “The house that had enough”when I was growing up, I think the title explains it, but essentially all a little girls toys , books, clothes and eventually her house got up and left because she treated them so badly. Recently my mom unearthed it and it is now read regularly to my monkeys. Not sure it’s having desired effect though 🙂

  3. Lisa

    I like it. You’re starting to spread your wings. For the next one, feel free to use me in the story. I can be the evil ugly stepmother since that’s like the complete opposite of me! Haha

  4. so funny..that’s one way to get them to clean their rooms. haha.
    love ‘and she wasn’t even professional barbie.’

  5. Did you read it to your kids yet? How did they take it 🙂

    • The verdict from my son is in. My son did not like the Barbie. If she had been chopped in half at the end, it would have been better. Really, should have seen that coming. Also, I didn’t reveal the author until the end. If it were Roald Dahl, he would have liked it. Mom, not a chance. 😉

  6. Haha! I swear Angie has had this very nightmare. I wondered when she was frantically putting her stuffed animals in a bin before putting them in the closet. Priceless.

    PS — I swear I have the same striped fabric of that apparel in the lower left of the photo. It’s a “maxi” dress, circa 1979! My girls have all my old stuff in addition to there new stuff. No wonder there’s too much.

  7. I would have been toast had my toys come to life. We used to put them onto the railroad tracks to see where their heads ended up.

    I have reformed, don’t worry…

  8. Definitely should be a series!

  9. Who knew Barbies don’t like being left half-naked on the carpet at night. I can’t wait to tell my daughters! I’m waiting for the movie version of this great story – then I can scare my kids straight (or neat)!

  10. Pingback: My Kids Caught Me Blogging | Mom in the Muddle

  11. Thats a great story for kids.. Really imaginative!..Keep writing!! 🙂

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