The Holiday Card

Come hell or high water this year, I was getting a picture for our holiday cards. It was going to be good. OK, it was going to be decent. And I had to get it done quickly and with the least amount of tears possible.

In years past, it started out well: The kids suited up in coordinating outfits with hair neatly brushed. I had a host of clever tricks to distract them at the first sign of distress: sighs, groans, questions, slumped poses, sloppy smiles. I could manage.

If only the kids could pose as patiently as this guy.

Lately, the taking of the holiday card photo has been surrounded by high drama. Mention getting dressed for the picture and tears flow. Hair brushing is done at a quick trot. Before anyone has struck a pose, the mood is ruined. I admit it. I use bribes, lots of bribes. The kids have caught on. They do not like the holiday picture.

The kids used to sit patiently as I snapped pictures of them on the porch or in front of the holly bush.

A few years ago, things went terribly wrong. It was like choreographing the stooges. One kid smiled, the other collapsed the moment I clicked. My daughter kept making funny faces, closing her eyes. When she smiled, my son looked dazed. I knew I had a short window of time. My son now despised having his picture taken. I ended up with a series of blooper-style photos, and only one decent picture.

Last year, the kids were in tears before I took two shots. I mentioned the words “holiday card” and they lost it, knowing they were in for an hourlong modeling session.

I had already made one attempt at the picture this year at a festival. I made the mistake of saying, “Let me get your picture for our card.” My son smiled and my daughter quietly boohooed. I urged her to get over it so I could quickly snap a picture. It didn’t go so well. My son kneed my daughter for not cooperating. That saga ended in a family meltdown. Over a photo.

This week with time ticking away, I knew I had to get that photo. After school in a slow drizzle, I took the kids outside in their dingy, mismatched school clothes, stuck hats on their heads to cover unbrushed hair, and told them to sit on the fence. If I made the photo black-and-white, everything would look great. Maybe.

“If you’ll just cooperate and smile, it will be quick,” I reasoned with them.

They asked for a gumdrop afterward. “If you don’t whine or fuss through this,” I explained.

Game on.

I clicked away, urging them closer. My daughter smiled beautifully. My son gave a few smiles but mostly looked like a limp fish. After six shots, he started to get antsy. “Let me just get a good one for the card,” I said.

“This is for the holiday card?” he whined.

Great. I blew it. Things began to unravel. He wouldn’t smile. “The fence is hurting my butt,” he complained.

Then he tore off his hat and scarf and threw them to the ground. That’s OK. I can work with that. I would keep snapping. But he screamed, grabbed his mouth, and ran. He had bumped his lip on the fence. Game over.

When he came in, he still wanted his gumdrop. “Did you fuss or whine while we were out there?”

“No, not during the pictures,” he said.

“I meant during the whole process,” I said.

“Oh.”

Maybe I should have been more clear.

The pictures? Thankfully, I have something to work with. And in black-and-white, everything does match.

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6 Comments

Filed under Can't Get a Break

6 responses to “The Holiday Card

  1. Taking the picture for the Christmas card might just be the hardest thing to do on earth. I always expect tons of tears…theirs and mine. That’s why I have yet to do it this year. Thanks for the reminder. 😉

  2. Kim E.

    It’s practically impossible to get a good picture with both kids smiling. I had the same problem the other day and had the kids hold candy canes together for the picture. They each complained the other wasn’t holding it right, etc. I think I give up! Separate pictures from now on.

  3. Karen B.

    I have one word–one beautiful, magical, save-the-day, no-more-tears word: Photoshop!!! 🙂

    • I have another friend who does that. Next year I will take pictures until I get one good one of each kid. Then one of you can edit to save us some tears! You wouldn’t think it would be so hard for two people to just smile and get it over with!

  4. LOL! I usually stress about the family Christmas picture but somehow it slipped my mind this year. I have one somewhat ok picture of us at our town’s tree lighting. We are a bit washed out but we are all smiling AND looking at the camera. I think it is a go!
    Also wanted to let you know that I have given you the Versatile Blogger Award – check out my latest post for the details if you wish. I recently discovered you and enjoy your blog so wanted to share you with my readers.
    Oh and good call on the black and white for the photo, ha!!

    • Thanks for the compliment!

      One year I’ll get one of those shots well before the holidays that I can use for the card. It never seems to work that way though. It wouldn’t be fun without all the drama, right?

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