There has been a lot of talk in my house lately that I just don’t want to hear. Your kids reach a certain age. They begin to understand certain things. They’re capable of using words in ways that you just hoped would never happen.
“Euss-gay at-whay?” my son says to me.
I cringe. He then rolls out an entire sentence without stumbling using the most annoying invention known to parents—Pig Latin.
Oh, yes. I know we’ve all experimented with it. We tried it. For most of us, we just didn’t like it. Too much work. My son likes the control. He likes how my shoulders jump to my ears every time he belts out a sentence or two, flawlessly. He loves that it seems to pierce my ears like nails on a chalkboard and blind my eyes like bright white sun.
Make it stop. Make. It. Stop.
If I hear it one more time, I’m going to eam-scray.
“Om-may, an-cay I-ay atch-way e-thay ame-gay?”
“I’ll answer you when you can talk the right way,” I say. Or I ignore him. Or I scream inside my ead-hay.
It’s been going on for weeks. I’ve heard it so often that I can sometimes decipher his long sentences with ease. And I don’t want to. This morning I found myself thinking in Pig Latin. Epressing-day. It is rubbing off on me. I’m afraid I’ll answer another mom at school or a client on the phone in Pig Latin. “I have an 11-year-old son,” I’ll say and hope that clears things up.
But I think I’ve come up with a solution. It’s going to take some practice.
Yes, the language spoken by Ewoks. He won’t even know what I am saying but he’ll want to know so badly, it will hurt.
I have a lot of studying to do.
“Che womok! Na goo. Noot.” (Beware! Stop now.) And while he’s at it, “Amoowa manna manna seeg toma jeejee.” (You have a food on your face.) Because that’s just a given.
I think sometimes the suffering is worth it when you can beat your child at his own game, right?
Mom in the Muddle 
Oh my…hopefully you will catch yourself before answering in Pig Latin LOL! Love the idea of Ewokese, that’s genius! Just don’t let him know what you are speaking or he might learn that instead! 😉
I ran across something called Double Dutch that sounds horrendous too. There are options. 🙂
You can always try Chewbacca talk…No? Personally, Chewy-speak sounds way more fun.
I’m embarrassed to admit I talk like Chewy more often than a grown person should. Sometimes that loud groan is the best answer for everything.
I don’t know if this was your intention but the post was funny. I think his language would get on my nerves too. I hope your plan works.
Oh yes, humor is always intended in this house. Glad you caught on. I will be so glad when this Pig Latin phase is over! It has lasted way longer than I thought it would. It doesn’t help that I think he and his friends speak it at school. The teachers must deal with this every year. I feel for them.
You know have no idea what we deal with. Be glad for that.
When it comes to things like this, I truly am.
I rather hear those words than the dreadful teenage years.. how cute.
Oh, I know. There are worse things! I’ll look back at this one day, won’t I? 😉
You’re on such a roll with the Pig Latin now, you might as well write a Pig Latin-to-English dictionary and make some money out of the deal. 😉
As teens, my kids love to throw various memes at me that I might not know. Doge is the latest. Everything is Doge this and Doge that, but they put it in a form of a question to me. “Hey, Mom, do you think Doge would like that?” Or “Hey, Mom, can Doge have dinner with us?” And then they laugh at my cluelessness. It’s getting old. Quickly.
Ugh. My spine just shivered for you.
haha! my oldest is creating his own language – has an entire notebook filled with coded words that have no structure or code. so funny!
You better get ready.
Good luck, lady. This post made me laugh. I’m definitely interested in how this turns out. Please keep us updated.
Learning it may be more difficult than learning French was. I may have to steal a trick from my son and write the words on my hand. 😉
Now I definitely want to learn Ewok. Does Rosetta Stone offer a course?
The things we never knew about Star Wars. Someone out there knows how to speak it perfectly, I can assure you. That kind of scares me. But yes, a course would be helpful.
Great idea! When nothing else helps, you can alway flabbergast them. 😉
When I was a kid, my dad used to throw in German words that he picked up from the Army. It certainly made me stop and think.
My parents used to speak in English when I was small … it was their secret language (being native German speakers 😉 )… which made me VERY eager to learn English too. 😉
If I knew another language fluently, I’d definitely try that. I very much regret not paying more attention in French now.
French?
After four years of French, I can speak one sentence. I gave up on that long ago. I could say the words to “Adeste Fideles,” however, that I had to sing solo in Latin class. Etched in my memory forever due to the fact that I cannot sing.
Go for the Ewok lingo. That would definitely make him envious and you a super nerd!
If he found out about Ewokese, he would flip. And he’d learn it in a day too. I’d be done for. I’ll try it out at dinner this week and see what happens. Eye rolling I presume.
He doesn’t read your blog, does he?
Awesome, awesome, awesome post.
Let me know how that works out!
He thinks I made it up. If only I were so clever.
I SOOOO feel your ear pain!! This should be fresh pressed, if not for all moms out there in the world getting paybacks (yeah, we all used Pig Latin).
Ewokese? Never knew of such a thing. Great post, Karen. Should be fun stumping the tweens.
He wanted to know where I got it from, then decided I made it up. He does know the name of my blog. I fear it’s only a matter of time before he starts reading it. That can’t be a good thing. Just be warned: it could get really boring here for a while, just in case. 😉
I don’t know why Pig Latin drives me so crazy but I feel your pain! Dimples will sometimes make up words to answer me, and it drives me nuts. I think it bothers me because I have always have a secret fear that my brain is turning to mush and I will wake up one day unable to interpret simple words.
And just wait till that teen lingo comes into play. At least we’ll have one up on our parents. We can Google. 😉
And if that doesn’t work, there’s always Klingon . . .
I am seriously hoping my son never discovers that! I won’t risk it by introducing it to him. 😉
Oh no, somehow I blocked out Pig Latin! I remember learning it…so, what age is your son? How long do I have before my daughter brings this home? Cracks me up envisioning you using Pig Latin to fellow moms without giving it a second thought. lol!
I have fond memories of Pig Latin, but I am not looking forward to when my kids discover it.