The Temptation of Chocolate Easter Bunnies

Every Easter morning of my childhood I awoke to a basket brimming with gooey marshmallow eggs, rainbow-colored jellybeans, speckled malted eggs, and other glorious pastel confections. The prize in the basket, though, was always the big chocolate bunny.

Having the sweet tooth, or teeth, that I did, it didn’t take long for me to plow through those springtime delights. By dark, I had eaten all of the good stuff and struggled with my failing elementary schooler’s willpower.

Throughout the week, I’d nibble the lame remaining candies and eye my older sister’s basket, still overflowing with goodies just like Easter morning. It tortured me like a pair of Sunday tights with a sagging crotch.

Every year, I gave in to my temptation. Daily I snuck into her bedroom, grabbed her chocolate bunny, and raced back to the safe haven behind my bed. Kneeling on my pink shag carpet, I fumbled with the packaging, trying to quiet the crackle of plastic and peeking over my bed to make sure my sister hadn’t heard. I took one bite of the bunny’s ear, savoring its creamy goodness, and sent it back to its package. Knowing I was safe for a while because the front of the box covered the bitten ear, I put it back in my sister’s room. I repeated this many times a day for several days until my sister noticed something had nibbled away her bunny’s ears and was headed toward its face. Sitting in my room, a shriek would break the silence. “KAAA-REN!”

Bunny ears I can't bite. He only looks chocolate. Bummer.

The jig was up. I may as well have had chocolate on my face. My story? You can’t leave something so good sitting there, in plain sight, and not eat it. Easter was over. Eat the candy already. She never learned her lesson. And I don’t think she ever caught on about her trick-or-treat bag either. She really could have tried to hide her loot better.

As an adult, I made up for the many bunny ears I ate as a kid. One year I gave my sister a chocolate bunny with super-duper bunny ears. I think we’re even.

My kids don’t know how to haggle over holiday candy. They simply don’t know what they’re missing. They politely ask to eat a few pieces of candy on Easter. By Halloween, we realize we still have Easter candy lying around. Poor kids don’t know how to work the system. Good thing they have me to eat whatever good stuff is hanging around.

33 Comments

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33 responses to “The Temptation of Chocolate Easter Bunnies

  1. My sister and I were the same way too except there was no way I was going to go near her stash of candy. My sister would know if I even breathed on a piece of her candy much less licked it or bit an ear off.
    Funny post – your kids are lucky to have you around to take care of the extra candy problem. :-)

  2. I always end up in between my kids’ holiday candy and my husband. It’s a role that is always rewarded with a candy prize. So far, no one has caught on…

  3. I always saved the bunny for last. I almost felt bad destroying the little creature.

  4. sj

    We always have leftover candy after holidays, but my dad ends up eating all the things he wants and leaves the rest for everyone else.

    • We tend to have a lot too. I try not to overdo it, but they get loaded up at school parties. And thankfully my sweet tooth isn’t as bad as it used to be. I prefer true desserts now. OK, sometimes a nibble of candy here and there is still good.

  5. My brother and I always traded, and kept close inventory on what we had ! Ah, such memories….

  6. HAHAHA sunday tights sagging crotch. Too funny!

  7. Lisa

    My sister and I never traded candy – we both liked the same thing. And now I buy Easter candy that I know they won’t eat so I can have it.

  8. I will steal the Resses eggs! They can not be in the house!

  9. I used to steal my little brother’s candy as well. I went after the Reese’s eggs.

  10. Mmm – chocolate bunnies. I have been known to sneak one or two from my brother’s basket when we were kids. :) I still sneak them from my dude’s baskets. May the circle be unbroken! Lol!

  11. martinisandminivans

    You know what gets me – those damn reeses easter eggs. All that peanut butter and chocolate together to make a large beautiful oval of tasty goodness. Brilliant. And I just found your blog – it’s great – I’m adding you to my blog roll. Thanks for the laugh!

  12. K. Eley

    I have learned to hide my candy, but I have daughter just like you! No matter where I hide it, her nose always finds it. When I go to have a piece of yummy chocolate, I find half of my loot missing or just an empty wrapper.

  13. I always had to hide my Easter and Halloween candy from my older brothers! I had a very strategic and slow way of devouring and/or savoring it but they ALWAYS found my stash and ate my favorites!

    • The torture for me was that my sister left hers out in the open. It sat there, taunting me. If it were hidden, I would not have gone after it. In all of my years of little sisterhood, I never snooped. I believe she was actually the snooper, but I have no proof.

  14. I am a horrible mom. I fill Dimples’ basket with just about everything except candy. I do give her a pack of jellybeans, but no chocolate. And it’s not because I bought it and ate it!

    • Mine don’t get much candy. This year they got books and gift cards to Barnes and Noble. They thought that was great and they’ve already read them and used their gift cards. And believe it or not, they both have their chocolate Easter bunnies still intact. Even I have not touched them!

  15. I just wait until after the holidays and buy marked-down Easter & Passover goodies.

    • If I could get away with that, I would!

      • While I got some at half price shortly after the holidays, I really cleaned up from the bin at Rite Aid this week, when Easter chocolates, malted milk eggs, marshmallow bunnies, jelly beans, etc. went for a little as 22 cents. Of course in some cases the creme fillings had to be licked off the insides of the wrapper. It’s the cheap “chocolate flavored” bunnies, flavored exclusively from the cocoa fraction rather than whole or reconstituted chocolate.

      • Yesterday some as low as $.17 — some turned out to even be actual chocolate, Russell Stover, even though most were just chocolate flavored.

        However, where I took them, my friend’s sister explained the grandchildren weren’t supposed to have “C-H-O-C…” etc. Meanwhile her grandson was spelling just fine on paper, and her grandaughter managed to FIND chocolate covered cookies.

  16. Hilarious recollection of Easters past!
    Thanks for sharing!

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